niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

noonereadstheurl:

I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website

You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps

canadianslut:

I wish my name was Zoe so I could introduce myself like this